Global warming is real, people. Those of us in Miami — and all the way up the East coast have been experiencing an abnormally toasty winter. It’s so summery, I experienced that all-too-familiar despicable sensation of swamp ass after Pilates the other day. My sincerest apologies if you find the latter statement outlandish but I have no clue why you’re reading this blog if TMI grosses you out. Because swamp ass is real, too, freaks.
Anyhoo, I bought this sweater dress in hopes Jesus would kindly bestow us with some cooler temps but the Devil has clearly won this winter (that asshole) so I had to stage this photoshoot where literally one pound of sweat (winning!) oozed from my pores. For those of you #blessed (arguably the most overplayed hashtag of these sweltering times) enough in wintery temps, I’d be happy to mail you this particular dress because it’s HOTTER THAN SATAN’S ASS CRACK HERE IN MIAMI.
I hope all of you are enjoying your winter break and for those of you skiing in chi chi von fancy places like Aspen, Vail and Deer Valley, well, just know my Instagram envy is at an all-time high. LIKE, CAN YOU STOPPPPP? Cut this bitch a break.
Until then, I’ll be cranking our AC at an arctic 69 degrees and praying for legit sweater weather.
Photos by Emma del Rey