On Swamp Ass and Global Warming

Sweater Dress

sweater dress

maria tettamanti

miami fashion blog

MiMo Miami

Global warming is real, people. Those of us in Miami — and all the way up the East coast have been experiencing an abnormally toasty winter. It’s so summery, I experienced that all-too-familiar despicable sensation of swamp ass after Pilates the other day. My sincerest apologies if you find the latter statement outlandish but I have no clue why you’re reading this blog if TMI grosses you out. Because swamp ass is real, too, freaks.

Anyhoo, I bought this sweater dress in hopes Jesus would kindly bestow us with some cooler temps but the Devil has clearly won this winter (that asshole) so I had to stage this photoshoot where literally one pound of sweat (winning!) oozed from my pores. For those of you #blessed (arguably the most overplayed hashtag of these sweltering times) enough in wintery temps, I’d be happy to mail you this particular dress because it’s HOTTER THAN SATAN’S ASS CRACK HERE IN MIAMI.

I hope all of you are enjoying your winter break and for those of you skiing in chi chi von fancy places like Aspen, Vail and Deer Valley, well, just know my Instagram envy is at an all-time high. LIKE, CAN YOU STOPPPPP? Cut this bitch a break.

Until then, I’ll be cranking our AC at an arctic 69 degrees and praying for legit sweater weather.

{Designers Remix sweater dress (on sale!), Golden Goose sneakers (on sale!), Céline sunnies, Chanel boy bag}

Photos by Emma del Rey

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  1. Lana
    December 28, 2015 / 10:05 am

    i love you

  2. Cristina
    December 28, 2015 / 12:31 pm

    TMI, Wordy!

  3. Seba
    December 28, 2015 / 9:46 pm

    Got me thinking of Vail

  4. December 28, 2015 / 11:58 pm

    The dress is lovely, such a shame that you can’t wear it bcause of the weather. Chicago has been kind of warm too but it started snowing really bad today
    The Color Palette

  5. December 29, 2015 / 11:53 pm

    LOL. Just waiting for you to jet off to some fancy winter spot so I can be envious. This “winter” has been disappointing, for my clothing options. I just did a post about me dreaming of sweaters lol.

    P.S. Thanks for being the top commenter on my blog!


  6. January 6, 2016 / 4:42 pm

    Girl, ship that outfit over to me bc you won’t be needing it in that heat!

    But global warming is real legit, it hasn’t been that cold here in Germany!



  7. Cristy
    January 7, 2016 / 8:15 am

    A mail it to me.

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