Mama’s Gotta New Bag!

 

Dudes. Sorry I’ve been slacking on updating le blog but I’d rather not write at all than give you crap text because I feel like my voice is far more important than the clothes and accessories featured here, okay? 

Okay!

Sooooo…mama finally got an Hermès Birkin! Here’s how it went down because people seem to be intrigued by the whole procurement process for this iconic (yes, I’m using the work “iconic” because it is! Sue me!) handbag which was named after actress Jane Birkin. Scoring one of these bad boys feels harder than nailing a one-night stand with Brad Pitt. It’s as arduous a child labor. It’s a herculean feat. Swear.

I’ve been on the waitlist for this bag for 5 (yes, five!) friggin’ years. From London to New York to Miami to Paris, I’ve begged and pleaded with every snooty Hermès sales person (What’s up with the attitude? Aren’t you in sales? Shouldn’t you be, like, nice? Duh).

BUT THESE SALES PEOPLE DON’T PLAY. THEY LIVE TO SAY “NO” WITH A SIDE OF STANK EYE. They’re on some power trip. It’s b-a-n-a-n-a-s.

But I never throw in the towel…this bullshit became a fashion challenge (yes, challenge) of epic proportions. The whole charade/game drove me insane in the membrane. Soooo it turns out my mother-in-law (God bless her soul) knew a gal who new gal who new gal who new a guy in Spain. Spain! She was able to secure one and my husband surprised me with it for my 39th birthday. They’re the best. I know. I couldn’t believe my eyes. This video my husband took above proves the latter notion.

The funny part in all this? The rouse of gleaning the Birkin proved to be better than the actual Birkin, you know what I mean?

So the moral of this seemingly vapid post (because we’re talking about an accessory here — not finding a cure for chlamydia) about the hunt for an elusive handbag?

NEVER GIVE UP and never take “no” for an answer. And as in this case, you can always count on family to pull through for the team.

As for all you snobby salespeople — picture Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman right now (thigh-high boots, big hair and all): BIG MISTAKE. H-U-G-E.

 Photos by World Red Eye