My Father Hates This Dress. The Husband? He Loves it, Obvi

Haute Hippie

{Haute Hippie blazer dress, Jimmy Choo pumps, Chanel boy bag, Céline sunnies, Daniela Swaebe pendant}

Haute Hippie blazer dress

The Standard Hotel Miami Beach

{The Standard Hotel Miami Beach}

Maria Tettamanti

chanel boy bag

Haute Hippie

Maria Tettamanti

“Maria, where the hell are your pants? And your blouse for that matter?” my dad asks me when I show him these pictures.

Um, he’s totally right. This dress is unmitigatedly on the racy side, but every once in a while, this mama has got to bring the fashion fuego. And this blazer dress with plunging neckline is precisely what I’m talkin’ about. Uh huh, honey.

You see, as I navigate Miami’s nighttime events, I’ve got certain tried-and-true looks on rotation (ripped jeans with sick heels, my go-to LBD, black pants with a cute top, yadda yadda yadda). But sometimes, you’ve got to BE ON LIKE DONKEY KONG. These sexier, professional events typically involve the husband. And other half nakedly dressed women. Which equates to this sartorial strategy for: Be provocative. Never slutty. But push the envelop a bit. Ask yourself, “What would Madonna wear?” And divide the answer in half.

NEWSFLASH, ladies — DING! DING! DING! — your man cares about how you dress. And while I know the world doesn’t need yet another misogynistic article expressing the sentiment that sweatpants cause divorce so wear skimpy lace thongs while folding the laundry (because that’s utter bullshit), well, dressing up for your man is actually a loving act. It shows them that you care about them. And that you care about yourself. And that you’re confident and men love confidence because there’s nothing more nagging than some needy nitwit complaining about vapid crap like, “OMG, I’m so bloated. Do I look good? Baaaaaabe, DO I LOOK GOOD? TELL ME I’M HOT, DAMMIT!!!!”

Ehr-ma-gawd…I sound like a tired episode of Doctor Phil. Shit. My sincerest apologies.

But you know what I mean. While I typically dress for myself, there are indeed times I find myself va-va-vooming it up for my man in a concerted effort to look damn sexy in a sea of scantily clad chicks. Call me crazy (well, I think we’ve already established the notion I’m slightly mental) but I think dressing up for your loved ones is really important

So bust out that one thing in your closet that makes him or her weak in the knees — give them a solid reason to stare at you as though you’re the only person in the room. Okay, now I’m starting to sound like a poorly written paragraph from Fifty Shades of Grey. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN SO MAKE LIKE A NIKE SHOE AND JUST DO IT.

Photos by Emma del Rey




  1. Jenny Ragsdale
    April 29, 2015 / 7:54 pm

    SEXY!!!! You look great…. Love this dress and it looks great on you

  2. April 30, 2015 / 5:27 am

    MARIA TETTAMANTI, when Latins say your full name is either good or bad, this time is for a damn good reason! you certainly brought the fuego out! I love love love this dress and I know you made that husband very happy!

    I agree with you on the looking good for your man preech! especially in MIAMI, where clothes is an option rather than the norm!



  3. Cristina
    April 30, 2015 / 7:45 am


  4. Ismini
    April 30, 2015 / 9:44 am


  5. April 30, 2015 / 11:17 am

    I agree 100% and you slay in this dress!

  6. Yhasmina
    April 30, 2015 / 12:17 pm

    “What would madonna do? And divide the answer in half” – is now my life mottoooooooooooo!!! hahahah !!

  7. May 14, 2015 / 6:40 pm

    So sexy and glamour, your look is perfect !

  8. Joe
    September 12, 2016 / 1:39 pm

    Sooooo you show pics like this to your dad? O.o

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