25 Things You Don’t Know About My Husband

I cannot even begin to tell you freaks how much my Instagram followers enjoy my husband Sebastian (also known as #WifePorn) on my Instagram stories. Perhaps it’s his hideous affinity for Crocs and funky socks or the fact he chops veggies in sleek Italian suits — either way, here are 25 things you don’t know about my Argentine cowboy as told by him…

  1. At first, I hated filming Maria’s Instagram videos. But she claims “it’s for work,” so I go along with them. Once I hear the song “Pony,” playing, it’s understood she’s filming me
  2. I was born in a small town called San Miguel in Argentina. We moved to Miami when I was 13. Maria makes fun of my thick accent all the time. Rude.
  3. My hobbies include playing golf, boating and sitting on the couch — in that order.
  4. My go-to music is country. Zac Brown, Kenny Chesney, Jason Aldean and Toby Keith are my favorite artists. I hate the pop music Maria listens to because it lacks soul.
  5. My favorite book is The Brethren by John Grisham. I read all of his books religiously.
  6. My favorite TV show of all time is Lost. I enjoy The Walking Dead as well.
  7. My secret talent includes putting chickens “to sleep.” I place their heads under their wings and they doze off… I learned this trick in Argentina.
  8. My favorite thing to eat are milanesas. We have them at least once a week.
  9. I met Maria at my 20th birthday party in Gainesville, Florida. We started dating 6 months after that. For the record… she kissed me first!
  10. My job title is Senior Vice President of Dezer Development. For the past 18 years, I’ve been selling real estate primarily in Sunny Isles, Florida for projects such as the Porsche Design Tower, Residences by Armani Casa and Trump Towers.
  11. I’m using Invisalign to straighten my teeth right now and it can be uncomfortable at times.
  12. My favorite annual vacation is the ski trip we take with my entire family to Vail, Colorado. I love skiing the back Bowls there.
  13. I’m a Florida Gator fan for life. 
  14. My favorite restaurant in Miami is Il Gabbiano. Any pasta dish there is amazing.
  15. My top movie picks include: North Shore and Goodfellas.
  16. I recently started drinking apple cider vinegar every morning for better gut health.
  17. I wear Crocs inside the house and Maria thinks they’re “fashion suicide.”
  18. I wear a suit and tie to work so I add a little pizzazz in the form of quirky socks
  19. My go-to men’s designers are Ralph Lauren and Hugo Boss. And Crocs aside, I collect Ferragamo shoes.
  20. My favorite concert to date was Elton John.
  21. Maria says my quietness is often mistaken for rudeness but I’m just a quiet guy!
  22. I was that guy that sold door-to-door Cutco Knives in college. I crushed it!
  23. Maria makes me watch every Bravo TV show and the only one I can stomach is The Real Housewives of New Jersey
  24. When at parties, I always connect with the older men in the room. I enjoy hearing their life stories. 
  25. Whenever Maria is walking up the stairs, I tickle her butt and it pisses her off. I’ll never stop!


  1. Tanya
    October 22, 2017 / 9:36 am

    #WifePorn quit tickling your wife’s ass.

  2. Helena
    October 22, 2017 / 10:48 am

    I love you guys!!!

  3. Vivi
    October 22, 2017 / 6:59 pm

    I like country too.

  4. Katie
    October 23, 2017 / 10:46 am

    I live for those videos

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