{Christian Louboutin Pigalle Follies pumps in rose}
{The maverick/masochist, Christian Louboutin, and moi}
Dear Mr. Louboutin,
Like a meth addict in the cough syrup aisle at the local CVS, I’m all over your designs.
But your affinity for comfort could use much schooling.
I’m quite certain I speak on the behalf of millions of red-bottom buffs when I utter this fact: Wearing your 4.5″ stilettos for mere nanoseconds is akin to consuming shards of glass. Guzzling Clorox bleach. The throes of child labor. Watching football. Denailing. Traffic. Breaking bones. Internet-free zones. Kneecapping. Listening to wailing babies. Chinese water torture. Passing kidney stones. Drowning. Abacination (a form of corporal punishment in which the victim is blinded by having a red-hot metal plate held before their eyes). Eating bland salads.
In a nutshell: Sheer, unadulterated misery. You red-soled masochist, you.
With the aforementioned said, I haven’t procured a pair of your shoes for years until THIS. Comprised of the perfect shade of blush pink patent leather and replete with a pointy toe allowing just the right amount of toe cleavage (yes, that’s a thing), I just couldn’t say no.
Yes, I caved. These car-to-door stilettos (Definition: A pair of shoes so painful one can only manage hobbling/shuffling from one’s mode of transportation to the front valet) have my name written all of them.
So thanks for bringing the beauty… and pain,
Maria
Haha, this was just incredible.
xo, Elizabeth
This just made my Monday morning. I can always count on your funny posts for a good chuckle.
xo
if someone doesnt buy me these exact ones in leopard for my bday, i guess i will live, but i wont want to. i’ve been craving them for almost 8 months. however, i know wearing them will make me want to kill myself. #ohthejoysofbeingawoman
Haha! I would’ve cave in too for this rose color 🙂
“Like a meth addict in the cough syrup aisle” – you kill me!
bah! love thissssss post x
http://www.vicariousLA.com
u r hysterical.
Well said! I couldn’t agree more.
Xoxo