It Was a Helluva Week

Oh. My. God. So I wrote my last post prior to Hurricane Irma‘s descent upon Miami and let me tell you… the aftermath was not pretty! We decided to stick out the storm at home because we’re insane in the membrane and while our yard is now 50 shades of fucked up, our abode held up really well. We’re so fortunate and #blessed and all that unicorns-and-sprinkles-kind-of-stuff as opposed to our neighboring beloved Keys and islands. 

The problem, you ask? 

We were out of power for 8 days rendering us (sweaty) refugees. During this time as a gypsy living in a hotel with my two small children and husband here’s what I learned about my life when it’s turned upside down:

♥ I’ll start off with the bad stuff because I’m cranky AF and Aunt Flo is in town. There are really mean people in this world. Aside from the plethora of “hurricane shaming” on social media, an internet troll left a seriously nasty comment on the post before this one and it really bummed me out. In fact, it brought me to tears. Said person called me “vapid” and a “bad writer.” Ouch! Honestly, thanks for ruining my already crappy week, Anonymous Commenter. I hope you feel good about yourself because you certainly made me feel like shit during an already stressful period in my life. But I’m the forgiving type so I hope someone gives you a big hug because that’s what you need right now. That, and a good shag. An apology would be nice, too, but I get the vibe you’re the kind of person who sits comfortably behind the veil of a computer screen and spews vitriol for fun. How sad. Really. Think about it. 

I am a complete and utter failure when it boils down to hurricane prep. Yep, that $100 filet mignon purchase from Costco was a waste once the power went kaput. Same goes for those fancy frozen acai bowls from Whole Foods. I blame FPL whole heartedly.

♥ I will never complain to my husband that we don’t spend enough time together. Like, everrrrr. 

♥ I bought these shoes to feel better about my life when I got the email that my childrens’ school was canceled for over a week and said purchase did absolutely nothing to improve my foul mood. The lesson here, kids? EVEN RETAIL THERAPY won’t save your soul when the power is out and the kids are smothering you. Material things never fill voids. TRUST.

♥ My husband and I are collecting goods for the hurricane victims. You can help by dropping off water, medicine, non-perishable foods, diapers and more at Dezer Platinum Realty located at 17109 Collins Ave., Sunny Isles, Florida.

♥ Hurricane tip: Leave/run/scram  should a Category 4 hurricane is coming your way. You’re welcome!

12 Comments

  1. Vivian
    September 19, 2017 / 7:42 pm

    I love your writing style and that commenter is a hater. Sad for them.

  2. MSERINSITA
    September 19, 2017 / 7:43 pm

    I love you, you non vapid ball of perfection. We were talking about you this weekend and your humor is superb. Let the haters hate. I say, as long as they talkin, you’re relevant.

  3. Tanya
    September 19, 2017 / 7:45 pm

    Of course they commented “anonymous.” What a wussy!

  4. Sandra
    September 19, 2017 / 7:47 pm

    Nah. You’re my all time favorite writer. Your personality shines through your writing and I LOVE that. And you.

  5. Mary Jo
    September 19, 2017 / 8:12 pm

    Great post. So funny. Haters are gross.

  6. Amanda
    September 19, 2017 / 8:18 pm

    Maria,
    You are a absolute wonderful woman, mother, writer, wife and just a decent human being all the way around. Don’t let someone hiding behind a computer dictate how you feel or make you second guess your life in general. They are just a misrable hag who is a coward and likes to spew they’re negative energy on others. Their horrible words are really nothing about you, but a reflection of them. Shake off the negative vibes and don’t give this troll any power! Enjoy your shoes, you deserve them. 😊

  7. Lori
    September 19, 2017 / 8:44 pm

    Girl, I ran. I knew power would go and I said hell to the no for days of no a/c and wifi. But I loved for your posts to see how you were fairing. Your positive vibe cracks me up, just like your grandchildren’s squeals.

  8. Gracia
    September 19, 2017 / 8:55 pm

    Trolls will be trolls yet lack the balls to expose their identities. I too rode out the storm and was without power for 8 dreadful nights. We’ve been through a certain type of hell, and while my house is also still standing, there’s a true misery and heartache that comes from throwing out a fridge full of food and being forced to flee our overheated homes after the storm. I feel you, sister! Your Insta stories helped me keep my sanity and sense of humor this past week and I’m so grateful. Keep on keepin on!

  9. Michelle
    September 19, 2017 / 9:42 pm

    People are sad and dry…you are awesome and never let haters mess with your sparkle and sass. I’ve been a hurricane vagabond this week and it’s not pretty. Keep writing- when I had to drive out of my neighborhood to sit in my car for AC and cellular stength at the Cocoplum circle, your stories made my day.

  10. Julissa Bonfante
    September 20, 2017 / 1:58 pm

    Love you Maria!! You are amazing, smart and gosh darn it people love you. Haters will hate. You are a great writer and you were able to express all the feelings we had during the hurricane. My daughter and husband became fans of you as well. Keep them coming!!

  11. Julissa Bonfante
    September 20, 2017 / 1:58 pm

    Love you Maria!! You are amazing, smart and gosh darn it people love you. Haters will hate. You are a great writer and you were able to express all the feelings we had during the hurricane. My daughter and husband became fans of you as well. Keep them coming!!

  12. Tawnya
    September 26, 2017 / 6:58 pm

    Most important I am glad you and your family are safe.
    I am so sorry for the terrible things some coward said to you. It is so NOT TRUE!
    You are a great writer and so real. You don’t put out “my life is so perfect”.
    I can be having a crappy day, read your post and laugh my a$$ off.
    Keep on being YOU!!

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