My Week of Beauty Gluttony

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to get spoiled rotten like an A-list celebrity for an entire week, read on because this is precisely what happened to me for the sake of a positively indulgent beauty assignment for Ocean Drive Magazine. For seven sybaritic days, I threw caution to the wind and spent with reckless abandon as though I boasted the connections of Gigi Hadid and endless funds of Elon Musk

For one wondrous week, my stubborn fat was melted away in less than 15 virtually pain-free minutes. My neck was tightened and cheeks were magically lifted. I dabbled in the woo-woo world in the shape of mystical healing crystals. I discovered exotic pricey serums culled from living Spanish snail secretions. 

Now, spending the week as the Word’s Most Pampered Woman comes with a price. $6,740 to be exact. Yes, you read that right.

Without further ado, here’s what happens when a writer/soccer mom explores the newest beauty treatments and trends with the help of the Magic City’s best doctors, healer and aesthetic nurse practioner for one week of beauty excess…


With a gemstone and acupuncture facial ($240 for first facial, $200 for follow-ups) with Doctor Elizabeth Trattner, that is. With a mission to “use ancient wisdom for modern women,” we chatted for 30 minutes over matcha tea about what’s been bugging me. Next, I laid down on a 26-pound gemstone-heated mat and was given acupuncture needles to address my anxiety and digestion issues. Crystals were placed allover my body to open my energy and chakras. A deep slumber ensued and I woke feeling recharged and armed with the most Instagram-worthy image on the ‘Gram. Call (305) 682-9358 for more information. Office located in Sunny Isles.


If you’re feeling Nora Ephron-esque about your neck (Read: bad), a visit to Doctor Jeremy Green is in order. To help with the fine lines and crepey skin on my neck, Dr. Green used Hyperdilute Radiesse for collagen and elastin stimulation. It was mixed with Xeomin to help relax the bands in the neck that pull downward on the face (AKA the platysma muscle). The end result? A major boost and lift. 


My face, on the other hand, was looking rather sallow compliments of my recent running addiction hence Doctor Green injected Juvederm Ultra Plus soft volumizing filler for the mid face — which should last about a year. ($1,800 for both treatments) When asked about the future of anti-aging skincare, Dr. Green says, “Definitely regenerative medicine — using stem cells and growth factors to help turn back the clock on skin aging.”  Skin Associates of South Florida, 4425 Ponce de Leon Blvd., Suite 200, Coral Gables; (305) 443-6606;


Muffin top, love handles, back fat — call these atrocities what you will — my lumps and bumps were permanently melted away with Dr. Roberta Del Campo with just one TruSculptiD treatment. The first and only provider to offer TrusculptiD ($1,000 to $3,500), Doctor Del Campo burned 24 percent of the fat in my abdomen and flanks in 15 minutes (versus competing devices which can take upwards of 45 minutes) — with no downtime or pain.


Microneedling rollers are out. Collagen P.I.N. facials are in. After numbing my face for one hour, Dr. Del Campo steadfastly microneedled my mug causing it to bleed while human growth factor was massaged into the skin ($600). Dr. Del Campo says, “One of the many drawbacks of dermal rollers is the fixed needle or penetration depth — which is not very conducive when treating an area like the face which requires different depths due to the varying thickness of skin tissue.”

The Collagen P.I.N., on the other hand, boasts an adjustable needle depth allowing skincare providers to adjust penetration depth throughout the entire treatment offering better and more consistent results.

One week later, the once amorphous blobs bespeckling my T-Zone are now tightened pores and acne scars are slowly disappearing. Del Campo Dermatology & Laser Institute, 1801 NE 123 Street, Suite 312, North Miami; (305) 705-6675;


After lamenting to Aesthetic Nurse Practitioner Danielle Smith my jaw grinding habit at night was getting out of control and I was waking up in massive pain, she injected my massater muscle with Botox ($600) to stop the mandible madness. The added bonus? My face looks slimmer now, too. As for what is so right now at her injectibles boutique, Smith says, “Social media is changing the game and people are seeing themselves more and more from atypical angles. Hence the demand has moved from just treating a static line or wrinkle to creating contour and its 3D effect.” Smith & Popov, 1410 20th Street, Miami Beach; (305) 393-2311;



  1. Elana
    April 29, 2019 / 5:53 pm

    “America’s Lifestyles of the Spoiled & Pampered writer/blogger”. I do have to honestly say I am jeally AF, can’t lie!

    • The Wordy Girl
      April 30, 2019 / 2:24 pm

      Ha ha ha! I love you.

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