This is What 36 Looks Like and I Love It

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{Blank Denim perforated leather jacket available here, Oh my Julian top from Blush Boutique, Studded shorts available here, Zara heels, Bag and sunnies from Blush Boutique}

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Recently, I got a really nasty comment from an anonymous reader on le blog that went exactly like this:

“Spend that money on Botox, lipo, a personal chef and trainer instead of clothes and bad dye jobs. Bless your heart…”

At first, my eyes welled up with tears. It hurt. A lot. So if that was their agenda…kudos to them. I mean, how can some random soul be so full of verbal vitriol? How can people be so mean and spiteful? I instantly felt wrinkly (and I do get Botox!), pudgy (Um, I work out, too!), and well, ugly. I read the comment to my husband who said with that are-you-kidding-me face, “Babe, if that kind of nonsense is going to get to you, get off the Web. Now.”

He was right. And I slapped on my big girl panties.

But then I got mad. I huffed, puffed and pushed “accept” on the comment and published it here because I feel like everyone’s voice has a place here. Hooray for democracy!

But here’s the thing that just kills me and is the crux of this post…I’ve never once pretended to be a model on this platform and am very well aware that at age 36, after bearing two children, I’m faaaaar from ever being Elle McPherson. You see, I’m Greek and we Greek girls like to eat. And I don’t Photoshop my pictures because, bible, I don’t know how to. And from a journalistic/personal standpoint, there’s nothing I hate more than the image of a woman airbrushed to the point of alien-like features Γ  la Revlon advertisements and magazine covers. It’s just weirdly unnatural to me.

And I don’t think I need any additional Botox (Lord knows I get enough!), lipo, a personal chef, another trainer or another colorist, either. I’m okay with me the way I am. Sure, there’s always room for improvement but I have a job, two small children, a husband, enduring friendships and a home to care for and that takes precedence over everything. Period.

But what I do think is that people need to stop drinking the haterade. For those who feel that deflecting their own insecurities onto others is cool β€” it’s not. It’s rude, uncouth and frankly, no one likes a Negative Nelly.

To you I say, I’m sorry you feel that way about yourself. And bless your heart.

Β 

44 Comments

  1. May 2, 2013 / 6:17 pm

    You can’t see it, but I’m totes giving you a standing ovation for this post. People hating is such a waste of energy and honestly, nothing good comes from it…so it’s a futile thing to do. But you’re right, people gonna do what makes them feel better about themselves and if that what it takes, it’s a sad, sad life for them.
    You look fab for ANY age and you’re an amazing person…so let’s plan a get together soon so we can have a champagne toast to just how kick ass we all are πŸ˜‰
    Xoxo

  2. I Die For Maria
    May 2, 2013 / 6:18 pm

    WORK IT, GIRL. You’re everything and more. PS — I thought you were like 30 #Bible

  3. May 2, 2013 / 6:20 pm

    Love, shes the one reading your blog… nuff said lol obviously you are of interest to this person if not, why bother on a)leaving a comment and b) event read ur stuf!! gotta be like soap!! πŸ˜‰ you rock every single outfit and your are incredibly beautiful, coming from someone who has seen you with and without makeup!
    xo,
    Dee

  4. Amanda
    May 2, 2013 / 6:26 pm

    Don’t hate, congratulate! I congratulate you for being upfront, honest and putting this idiot on blast! I like you for who you are, love your blog and I sure as hell love your hair! πŸ™‚

  5. Amy Reyes
    May 2, 2013 / 6:30 pm

    Your husband is correct, you must ignore the hate on the interwebs! Your blog is fun and -dare I say – age appropriate! Ignore the trolls!

  6. May 2, 2013 / 6:41 pm

    Whatcha doing on 20th Street? πŸ˜‰ #FOOTWORKS #BLUSH #LACE #THIERRYMAS #JUGOFRESH #OXXO

  7. Mandy
    May 2, 2013 / 6:50 pm

    Thanks for responding in a “real” way. I am also 36, have two children, and work full time. My feelings would also be hurt by comments such as these- but I feel like i earned my wrinkles, stray grays, and stubborn few extra pounds. My life experiences have made me (and my body) who I am and I wouldn’t trade that for anything!

  8. Emma Stone
    May 2, 2013 / 6:57 pm

    (Just to clarify–that’s for you, Wordy Girl! You rock).

  9. Audra
    May 2, 2013 / 6:57 pm

    Maria,
    I’ve known you since, well, lets just say, a long time. You have the most generous smile, the hugest Greek heart, and you happen to be gorgeous. Don’t let some poor, wretched soul who thinks that Botox and fillers make them pretty. I’m sure that the person who wrote that can’t stand to look in the mirror and you just pissed them off because of your glorious life.
    Btw… You are a super model citizen and I’m thankful for peeps like you.;)

  10. Ginger
    May 2, 2013 / 7:27 pm

    Seriously, if I could have your legs for just one day. I love you Maria. You are beautiful inside and out.

  11. May 2, 2013 / 7:27 pm

    honey from blogger to another, these haters can stick it in there ass. she’s probably fat, single, desperate, miserable feeling any other negative adjectives and obviously unhappy. honey I’ve been fighting of haters since the day I was born in fact some little biotch baby gave me the stink eye when I was leaving the hospital, cause I had good hair. when you look good and have the brain to go with it it really rubs women wrong why don’t we just support each other I guess only the confident ones are able to do that. screw her! twattiness is never in vogue. xo

  12. shelby
    May 2, 2013 / 7:57 pm

    oh hell no!!!! i would love to see a picture of this perfect specimen that is so scared they have to hide their identity. if you’re gonna post it!!! use your name biatch!!!!!

  13. Suzanne
    May 2, 2013 / 8:03 pm

    Only cowards post anonymously! No puedo with the hateration!!! Onward and upward always. You are beautiful inside and out, funny, smart, vivacious and so ALIVE! Your posts in my feed really bring a smile to my face, and I love how a Greek mamacita has adapted to the Miamisms. Keep on rockin’ and much love from the west coast, Suzanne

  14. Selma
    May 2, 2013 / 8:04 pm

    maria, i think you’re awesome!! screw them haters and their haterade! xoxo

  15. Courtney Martin
    May 2, 2013 / 8:15 pm

    You nailed it. The most important thing to remember is that a person who writes that is likely a person who is miserable inside, a person who feels so badly about themselves that the only way they can make themselves feel even a little bit better is to try and tear down someone else. When re-framed like that, you can almost begin to have compassion for such a person’s immense inner sadness.

    You look great. Cheers!

  16. Charlie
    May 2, 2013 / 8:37 pm

    brush your shoulders off sista. good on ya!

  17. Elizabeth
    May 2, 2013 / 9:35 pm

    Bravo Wordy Girl, Bravo!!!! This fan stands up and is giving you a round of applause!!!! While yes, I believe that everyone is entitled to their opinion, as stupid as they can be, but there’s one thing my mother raised me to believe, which is if you can’t say anything nice about something, shut the hell up and say it quietly to yourself. Whoever this hater is, it’s a shame that you can only focus on bringing in negative vibes. This blog is not just about fashion, it’s about day to day stuff that EVERYONE can relate to. So, Wordy Girl, continue to be the fabulous person you are, your fans accept you unconditionally!!!!! Thank you and XOXO!

  18. May 2, 2013 / 9:49 pm

    Omg! Congrats Maria, you know after my appearance on TLC’s The Next Great Baker I had a slew of haters to address and I like you believe in “Freedom of Expression” but negative words, regardless if they are from friends or strangers hurt… I, like you, let the “hater’s” get to me… Until one day I rolled up to Casa Lario’s window and got the greatest compliment and advice I have ever received. A tall gentleman was standing their drinking coffee and my eyes were swollen from crying myself to sleep from reading all of my hate mail, so he asked if I was ok, I proceeded to tell him briefly about my appearance and how much hate mail I was receiving from people all over the country… He said look, take it from me, not everyone is going to love you, but the mere fact that you have your own club of hater’s can only mean one thing…. “Congratulations, You’ve made it” He finished his coffee, shook my hand and wished me much success. “El Duque” was right, his words were, short, sweet but profound. NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LOVE YOU, but the mere fact that you have “haters” means you’ve made it! Congrats! and welcome to the club πŸ˜‰

    ps: I think you look beautiful, on the inside and out!

    Hugs,
    Letty

  19. Allyson Papunen
    May 2, 2013 / 10:02 pm

    Dear Anonymous,
    The Wordy Girl is one of the best poeple I know, so shut your f*#cking pie hole and stop reading her blog. You are not worthy.
    Sincerely,
    Allyson Papunen

  20. May 2, 2013 / 11:02 pm

    Well said. No one messes with the Wordy Girl. I too used to get upset when I’d find a nasty comment or a mean tweet. But it always motivated me to try and post better content as a sort of “eff you” to the hater. Which, in truth, is what you’ve done here. So it’s really about how you channel that negative energy and make it work for you. And you have.

  21. sofia
    May 3, 2013 / 12:31 am

    Yeah, momma! Some people are just unhappy and it is very sad (who wants to live that way?!?!). The only thing that makes them feel better is making other people feel as miserable as they are (or trying to;). When you put yourself out there as all artists do, there is bound to be some hating so you dust it off and keep on moving! To the hater: Get yourself into therapy so maybe you can better your life.

  22. May 3, 2013 / 12:43 am

    I remember reading this comment, and I was disgusted that one could be so callous and mean (not to mention untrue!!!) as well as cowardly. Your brave for addressing that comment. I’ve always dealt with that shizz the same, and try to move forward in acts of love. I remember an especially cranky old woman at Joann fabrics being especially mean and unhelpful, I kept smiling, making jokes, asking how her day was, and eventually got a smile. Eventually her whole manner changed…it was like I conquered evil for that day. Bravo for not sinking to her level, and realize your inner and outer beauty- and ditto on your other commenter on those legs, girl! Wish i had those gams!!

  23. May 3, 2013 / 8:54 am

    At least we can thank your hater for giving you the inspiration to post a great piece. And one that attracted tons of great comments! Thanks, hater!

  24. Massi
    May 3, 2013 / 9:35 am

    Trainer huh?! I would quote Ezekial 29:17 from Pulp fiction but my yoga side says LOVE and LIGHT-
    Anonymous, I am her trainer and her yoga instructor. If anyone who has trained with me knows, we train HARD. Before going into a long winded explanation of how bad ass Maria is, let me make it KISS method for you: If you want a deep, intimate relationship with another, first become aware of who you are. “The mouth of the wise man is in his heart” Benjamin Franklin 1706-1790. Booyah, word bomber!

  25. melisa chantres
    May 3, 2013 / 9:41 am

    You sure as hell don’t look 36! You are perfect inside and out…love YOU and your blog!!!

  26. May 3, 2013 / 10:49 am

    Hey I wish when I’m 36 I will look like you… wait more like now being 32 I wish I looked like you.
    Hater comments are always constructive they show you that the world is harsh and full on envious people (which you totally don’t need in your life) So keep on being the awesome self that you that we all love, for those who don’t like well that;s their problem

  27. May 3, 2013 / 11:00 am

    F’ing haters. Get a life. The sad part is that that nasty comment came from a woman, 100%, because women like to rip each other to shreds. Without getting too mushy, we should celebrate each other, have fun with one another and enjoy the creativity that we each bring to the table.

  28. MJ
    May 3, 2013 / 2:49 pm

    This sounds eerily familiar. In which case I must quote my gorgeous mother, “Los pajaros tirandoles a las escopetas”- a more fun way to say “people who live in glass houses…” Some people are actually named after weeds- so representative of their true nature despite the bright yellow center which Characterizes the weed. I’m proud of you for turning this unpleasant comment into an inspiring story. Just keep swimming….

  29. May 3, 2013 / 2:57 pm

    HATERS GONNA HATE!!

    Don’t let the anonymous commenters ever get you down. It takes a lot of courage to blog….it takes nothing to leave a nasty comment.

    Your fab…don’t ever stop being you! Can you do a botox post though? I’m so curious. When was your first time and do you like it?

    xx AD

  30. May 3, 2013 / 5:05 pm

    i MUST throw my wordy girl LOVE into the stream of LOVE gushing below in your comments…

    YOU are by far one of the wittiest, stylish & REAL people i have met from the blogosphere. not to mention, super duper sweet and flipping hilarious!!!

    i don’t have much time in the day to read all the blogs i subscribe to, but i will ALWAYS take a moment when yours rolls in. you make me laugh while giving me my fashion fix!!!

    LOVE YOU. LOVE YOUR BLOG and don’t EVER, EVER, EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR change what you got going on… you truly are ONE-OF-A-KIND. xoxoxoxoxooxooxoxoxo

  31. May 3, 2013 / 8:56 pm

    That was so beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I couldn’t identify with you more. There’s nothing like making yourself vulnerable to toughen up thin skin. And it takes a lot of courage. Thank you. πŸ™‚

  32. May 4, 2013 / 12:06 pm

    You’re one of the most beautiful women I know. You’re “hater” obvi is jelly of you & all the amazing posts you put together. Keep doing your thing no matter what because for every hater there’s a dozen of us you inspire everyday! Xo

  33. Natalie
    May 4, 2013 / 12:06 pm

    I’m so proud of you Amiga…way to keep it classy. Love ya!

  34. Amy Alonso
    May 4, 2013 / 2:04 pm

    πŸ™‚

  35. Elana Hellring
    May 5, 2013 / 2:07 am

    WooooHoooo!! You are beautiful INSIDE & OUT!!

  36. May 9, 2013 / 9:30 am

    Maria-

    What you encountered was someone verrry envious of you…anyone who lashes out in such a (public) way is just trying to tear you down. You are BEAUTIFUL, WITTY, TALENTED, KIND, AND A SICK FASHIONISTA! All I can say is…haters ‘gon hate. Keep doing what you’re doing because I know how much I love The Wordy Girl! Don’t change a thing!

    Ciao!

  37. May 9, 2013 / 10:39 am

    #1-You’re absolutely PERFECT and you have strong, toned legs to the heavens! #2-They’re probably sitting at their computer fat, wrinkly and in a no name tee from Dollar General. #3-Don’t dedicate another post to their foolish behavior…GIVE US GLAMOUR!!! πŸ˜‰

  38. May 31, 2013 / 12:25 pm

    It takes a very strong woman/person to handle criticism, rude remarks or rejection in a positive manner. Instead of self-loathing; you looked at your own situation from the outside, in. You knew that the only reason that woman commented in such a manner was because of her own insecurities and issues; it had nothing to do with YOU! I am a big fan of the Greek women and their kind,helpful spirits. You are beautiful inside and out! Kudos for handling it properly.

    xo

  39. June 26, 2013 / 11:41 am

    Posting anon is a bitch move anyway so take that anon! You’re great Maria, fuck them & their shitty self esteem πŸ™‚

    XX

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